Giving Yourself Grace: The Goal You Never Knew You Needed
Breakfast before sunrise at Lady Bird Lake
Picture this: It’s 10 P.M. You’ve checked off your to-do list (except for that one thing you’ve carried over for five (wait, has it been seven?) days), the kids are finally asleep, and you sit down for some well-deserved “me time.” But instead of feeling accomplished, you start replaying in your head what happened during the day and begin thinking about tomorrow’s to-do list. Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing about us go-getters (yes, even the ones who live in loungewear and haven’t “gone” anywhere besides the school carpool line): We’re really good at striving. Goals? Created and accomplished, or striving to achieve. Plans? Overachieved. But breaks? Self-compassion? Giving ourselves a little bit of grace? … Yeah, not so much.
The Myth of the Perfect Balance
Society loves to sell us on balance—like we’re all tightrope walkers trying not to slip, then grasp for dear life if we lose our balance because of a small misstep. But guess what? Life isn’t a tightrope; it’s more like a lazy river – one minute you are floating along doing well, the next your kids jump on the side of your tube, and you tip over and fall into the water. But guess what? You can stand up in that spot, get your footing in the 3 ft current, and hop back into the tube. Just because the current is still flowing around you doesn't mean it needs to carry you away.
We tell ourselves we must keep moving forward or risk losing momentum. But constantly striving—without pauses to rest, reflect, or even celebrate the wins—leaves us unbalanced. And, spoiler alert: The “achievers” can feel this more frequently than they care to admit.
When Grace Found Me During Planning Mode
The other day, I was frantically planning and organizing details for a trip. Not feeling excited - just anxious. Did I have all the selections correct? What if we didn’t pack well for the weather? My kids kept interrupting my tasks, and my brain was mush. They were asking so many questions I literally couldn’t form a sentence to reply. I finally responded by saying “mommy needs some quiet time”.
Then it hit me. Nobody was asking me to plan and organize everything to the extent that I was. Nobody but me.
In that moment, I told my kids I was shutting my door and needed some time on my own. I sat down and took several deep breaths. Did I feel guilty for saying I needed some time to myself? Yes. But mostly I needed time to contemplate my thoughts and actions. After a while I realized that I was actually excited and felt anxious because of expectations. But the expectations were all my own…
Why Grace is the Best Gift
Giving yourself grace doesn’t mean you give up striving for your dreams or goals. It just means you stop measuring your worth by how much you accomplish in a single day (because you recognize that’s exhausting).
It means acknowledging that you’re human—flawed, tired, and juggling a lot—but also doing your best. It means realizing that rest isn’t weakness, and slowing down doesn’t mean giving up.
For me, grace has looked like:
Letting go of a “perfect” bedtime routine and opting for a “good enough” one.
Allowing other family members to plan or help takeover tasks they can do too.
Celebrating the fact that I meditated today (even if it was only for 5 minutes).
The Goal You Can Start Today
Grace isn’t a checkbox on your to-do list. It’s a mindset—a daily practice. It’s the permission slip for you to take a breather, regroup, whether that be in the moment, during the day, or starting again tomorrow.
So, the next time you find yourself staring at a to do list in full on planning mode, give yourself permission to write “give yourself grace”. Not because you earned it, but because you’re worthy of it.
At the end of the day, grace is what helps you show up—not just for your goals but for yourself and the people you love most.
Until next time, enjoy the journey!
Copyright Me Time 4 Mom, LLC
